Shared Discovery Enables Possibilities

Humans are tool builders: tools enable us to build things better. And one of the best tools we have to build relationships is questions because they lead to engagement.  Questions create a space for Shared Discovery: to share learning and to discover more about each other – this is what engagement is all about. Questions direct, support and enable long term engagement.

The brain uses 25% of the body’s energy and questions direct WHERE you focus that energy and WHAT you think about and HOW you think about it. So, asking open ended questions directs focus and helps uncover needs. They go beyond the transactional nature of business and make the exchange about people themselves. This opens us up to broader knowledge about each other and deepens our relationships with each other. Think about how much more engagement we can have when we know someone personally: What are their priorities? Their goals and challenges? Their likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests…? Who are the important people in their lives and on their teams? What are their strengths and weaknesses – in other words: what’s really on their mind and how can we help? These kinds of questions enable possibilities that wouldn’t otherwise exist.  Prepare in advance and ask them.

Be prepared to be asked questions as well. When someone asks YOU something, pause. And before you answer, make sure you have asked enough questions of them to know WHY they are ASKING THAT question and how you can answer it best for them. 

Asking different kinds of questions can do different things for us. For example: questions like “what’s been working for us?” “how will we keep doing that” and “what can we do differently moving forward” can confirm expectations, gain support for solutions and enable deeper learning. 

Questions control the conversation in the sense that they guide and direct our thinking. So, watch out for questions feeling manipulative or judgmental. Our aim is to open things up and be transformational with our relationships, not tear each other down. Asking ourselves  “What direction do we want this to go?” and “How can we help?” will allow us to be mindful of how others experience our questions and move the relationship forward.

Take this tip and REMIND yourself Be Bold… Be Collaborative. Build a space to share learning with each other and discover more about each other: Ask questions that enable possibilities.