Specific Special and a Surprise from Golden Rule to Platinum Rule

Human beings are Tribal. We survive when we work together…   and we found it helpful to live by certain Rules…  one being that when someone gives us something we should do the same for them.  The brain responds to acts of kindness: people FEEL PRESSURE to GIVE BACK when GIVEN something meaningful ….  The term is Reciprocity and research identifies 3 amplifiers … that the gift be 1) Specific, 2) Special and 3) a Surprise…   TO THEM. 

The Rule Of Reciprocity is Culturally Universal …. It has been exhibited by people in all cultures and societies throughout History, written about in Ancient Egypt, then by Confucius in 500 BC, and the Stoic Philosophers in the first Century…   The Rule is fundamental in the fields of Psychology, Economics, Politics and Business. Psychologists find evidence of this in children as early as 18 months old…it forms the basis of Treaties between countries….  In Business…  the Basis of Contract Law … in all forms it’s called Consideration.

An invitation is an example of a gift that triggers reciprocity.   It is the Giving of Time   and can reflect Inclusion Respect Sensitivity and Empathy…When a person accepts that Invitation they Reciprocate with Attention Vulnerability Kindness and even Love 

So, INVITING PEOPLE TO TAKE PART   … in a planning session, on a coffee break, even inviting Advice – leads to Participation…  which leads to Collaboration…  then Connection…  which increases Engagement…. We Give Back when We are Given… BUT we must KNOW we are BEING GIVEN something and it needs to be MEANINGFUL to us.

The Rule has evolved… from the GOLDEN RULE – “Treat others as YOU would like to be treated” –  to the PLATINUM RULE – “Treat others as THEY THEMSELVES want to be treated.”  Keep in mind people’s tastes and interests differ.  So, when inviting someone to participate, be Mindful of Their Preferences as Research shows Reciprocity applies when the 

Now take this tip and REMIND yourself….  “treat others the way THEY want to be treated”, Choose to Include… and to Be Collaborative… most importantly Be Mindful of what is meaningful to others when you  invite them to participate with you.